I am bored. I don't mean the typical type of boredom that most of us feel. I mean I am totally uninterested in everything right now. Which, oddly enough, interests me. I want to know what it is that causes us to be bored even when there is plenty going on around you.

I have arrived at the conclusion that boredom isn't the lack of having something to do, it's a lack of caring about what you can do. I am just not impressed by much these days. I can't remember that last time I was genuinely impressed by something or someone. Well, that's not entirely true.....I am VERY impressed with my husband's bedroom work. We have been together for 4 years, and the sex is still anything but boring.  My instincts were right about going for older men...they really do know what they are doing...at least mine does.

I have had a thing for older men for a while. The last guy I dated before I met my husband was 20 years older than me. My husband is ten perfect years older than I am, which makes him dead sexy to me. I love a specific type of man. Knowledgeable, mature, affectionate, devoted, badass, funny and gentlemanly without being trite or condescending. I totally scored on all fronts with him! And the fact that he finds my oddities and off-beat sense of humor to be soothing is an added bonus.

I have no interest in younger men. Or men my age for that matter. The man must be at least 10 years older than me to even turn my head. The only thing a young man can really do for me, is bring me a message from an older man.

My preferences in older men shine when I list my favorite actors/characters from TV and Movies.

Al Pacino - Scent of a Woman (he was sexy x 1000)

Anthony Stewart Head - Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Tommy Lee Jones - The fugitive

I would shag any one of them in a heartbeat. Nothing is sexier than smart and in-charge (without being a shitty little bully).

That's the short list...it's a hell of a list really. I'll have to post it sometime. But not right now, because I am too bored.

 My point...and I do have one...is that I tend to desire intelligent, tough, wise, slightly sarcastic, strong men, with a vulnerable and caring side...all of that with a couple of dashes of good judgement and open-mndedness. Young men rarely possess more than one of these qualities at a time. Most of them have the openmindedness, but not in a good way. As near as I can tell, they are so openminded that their brains have fallen out. They are so busy trying to seem openminded in hopes that it will open my legs that they tend to go too far and say ignorant shit like, "If you have ever wondered if you were gay, I would be happy to help you test your theory. I'd be glad to watch you and one of your girl friends make out and even help you along." Yes. A guy in a bar actually said that to me. I shit you not.

I am totally at a loss as to why I told you guys all of this...no wait. It's because I'm bored, so I am rambling. You know what this place needs???  A tire swing. No clue why. It just seems like one is needed. I never liked tire swings....they hurt my ass. I have never understood why people are all about getting on them when they just hurt your butt.

Damn....I have just been sitting here for about 15 minutes staring at the screen and wondering what to write next, and I am blank. I have writer's block....which is fucked considering the fact that I don't believe in writer's block. I don't believe in it, because I don't think it is real. There is no such thing as writer's block, there is just a fear of writing badly....and my brain just went blank again. Well, that's just fucking spiffy. Bloody marvelous. See, got no real topic...so I am writing about having no topic, thereby giving me a topic, so therefore, I do not have writer's block, because it doesn't exist. 

Hey, did you know you would have to smoke over 1200 pounds of pot in one sitting for it to be lethal, but you can die from drinking a fifth of 100 proof liquor (depending on your weight)? I am confused as to why pot is illegal and said to be dangerous, but we can buy death in a bottle for under $5. Just a thought.

I think this week I am going to go into some Wal-Mart or target stores and buy the oddest assortment of items that I can come up with and see if it freaks out the cashier. You know...like condoms, a jar of mayonaisse, and a bicycle chain...and then ask the cashier if they carry inflatable dolls.

The other day, as a joke, I told my husband that when we got home after work, he better be ready because when I came to bed I was going to be wearing my sexiest lingerie and I'd have a live chicken, a jar of strawberry jelly and the vacuum cleaner all set up for a night of lovin'. He just stood there looking at me for a few seconds. He was thinking my list over. Then, I swear to God, he looked me in the eyes and asked "What's the strawberry jelly for?" I fell out laughing, and I am still chuckling about it everytime it comes to mind.  I really do LOVE this man. No matter how goofy I get, he just goes along with me for the ride and plays the game with me. Which is rare.....rare and impressive. HEY! I'm impressed with something! His ability to flip my joke and make it even funnier than the question shows he is sharp, easily adaptable, smart...Yes. I definitely scored with this one.....or it is possible that his response means he is some sort of deviant sexual freak with no clue.  I am going with the first impression.

Ok. I have websites to build, people to tease, e-mails to ignore and deep need for something chocolate. I'm outta here kids. Play nice with each other, otherwise you will just have to play with yourself.