It's been mentioned to me that I am a bit stressed and anxious. I don't know what could have given anyone the idea that I am stressed or anything....I mean, just because I can't sleep most of the time and when I do sleep I am lucky to if I get more than 2 hours of snooze time, I am on the web about 90% of my day doing research and writing artivles for my e-zine, I am living off of hotpockets, reeses cups and cigarettes....IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT I AM STRESSED! I AM NOT STRESSED! I AM PERFECTLY FINE! WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOU THINK I AM STRESSED??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN STOP SHOUTING?! I AM NOT SHOUTING!!!!
It's weird actually. I really do feel ok aside from the not sleeping. My mind is just going 100 miles an hour, and the minute my head hits the pillow all of the stuff I need to remember comes flooding in. I have counted sheep, but when I do that the sheep become all hostile and inform me that they are not boring and therefore should not be pigeon-holed into the role of sleep bringers. I tried to explain to them that we don't find them boring, just soothing. This angered them even more and in an effort to show me how gritty and "street" they are, they divided into two gangs and had a "rumble". There were knives, crowbars, etc...but in the end it just looked like I was watching West Side Story being performed by clumsy sheep. When they started trying to speak with German accents instead of the subtle Faulkland Island lilt I had assigned to them, I had to stop there. this was not the sort of thing that would bring me the serenity to fall asleep.
And then, of course, there are other issues keeping me awake at night. Did you know that after about 3am, there is almost nothing but infomercials on tv? What the hell? As much as I pay for satellite services, I want something worthy of watching at 3am. It's not like our standards are all that high at that hour. Aren't there some old Perry Mason episodes or something they could show? And I am stunned by how many machines they have out there for your abs! My god! Has it really gotten that bad? They need to understand first of all that people who are serious about exercise and getting in shape are not normally up at 3am, and if they are, it is because they are headng out the front door for their psychotic 20 mile jog before breakfast. Fucking freaks.
Well, at least during these crazy hours I am geting things taken care of over at my e-zine. I am surprised at how much i really enjoy putting it together. We had a banner premiere week. The e-zine alone pulled in more people and got more hits than my other sites combined in the first three days. For those of you who read it and passed it on, I thank you from the bottom of my Ambien bottle. The feedback has been very favorable, and we are now poised to sell ad space on my sites as well as in the e-zine.
The second issue is almost ready to roll out on Monday, so I want to ask you guys again to pass the links around like a free crack pipe at a drug dealers' convention. Speaking of drugs, I am going to take some now, try to go to sleep....and if it doesn't work, then i will lay here and enjoy the vivid colors.
So.....how the hell are the rest of you slackers doing?
